I want to make a zoo with you.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize