we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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