Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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