we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
do nipples grow back?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
