It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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