idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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