I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
