Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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