I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Randomize
