It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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