Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
