you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
