He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
This baby is an asshole
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
