Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We left the knife in your bed.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
