God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
