No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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