my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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