Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
