Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
