Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Its about making memories worth repressing
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
