Whod you bang
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
