Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
