but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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