Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
