i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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