her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
