I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
