We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I had to cum in my sink.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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