Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
