if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
