is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
