My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
