You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Come see our sink grown plant.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Randomize
