If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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