Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
