wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
