I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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