does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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