So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
