You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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