why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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