when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
