You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
