Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
