there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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