All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
