you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
