Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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