I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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