DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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