sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
