So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
