matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
honey bunches of taint.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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