I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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