ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
we're making bets on your personal life
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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