He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
dude i'm inner monologue high
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
