I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize