Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
