do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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