need another drink. this is the easiest way
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I am spending my child support on dildos
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Randomize
