he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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